Why I HAVE To Work Out

I have always hated working out. 

I would give it two weeks and then usually throw my hands up since I didn't have the results I wanted. I really expected to undo years of laziness with a few days on the Elliptical. 

But, when my weight skyrocketed after hip surgery and my depression started rearing it's ugly head again, I knew I had a choice. I could continue down the path to a low quality of life or I could finally start to live again. 

I can't say life has been peachy since I have started this road to get back in shape. If anything, life has thrown me some major curveballs with Opie's illness and my hope at times has been hanging on by a thread. However, if it wasn't for the gym, I think I would be one giant lump of negativity.

I struggle with negativity anyway. God is really trying to teach me new ways to think. I am just finally seeing that to think clearly, I needed to have as much going in my favor as possible. Life is hard enough, without the constant internal dialogue of how fat you feel and how you wish you could enjoy shopping again and how you wish you could stop eating yourself out of boredom and sadness and etc, etc, etc...

Been there folks. 

And some days, my mind wants to go back there. 

I want to live life to the fullest with these two. 

But, I will NOT go back to that. In all of the trials we have had as a family the past few months, I can not imagine where I'd be emotionally had I not determined to take better care of myself. By finally choosing to work out for the right reasons (to be stronger, to avoid depression, to be an example for my kids, to be able to play with my boys without tiring out, etc) I am no longer worrying about the scale or how fast I can look like Giselle. I do it because I finally feel like Brianne. Like I have overcome a challenge. Like I have strength I wasn't aware of. 

And I feel like my life has only begun. 

Lord, help me continue to take care of this body you have given me. May I never lose sight that You are the hope I have. That You are the giver of my strength. And that even when this body fails me, You will never fail me. Teach me to be wise in my choices and to live my faith in ACTION. 

I am not Supermom, but I am determined to be Super at being a better mom.

ME! ME! Vote for ME!

I rarely have ANY time to promote my blog. But, this week, time has allowed me to put in a few more hours than usual... hence, the multiple posts in one week....

I am trying to get back into it and would really like to generate some traffic flow my way. Heck, maybe even bring in some dough for the familia! (This stay-at-home-mom stuff just doesn't pay well...HA!)

Anywho, I was asked to partner with a special site that helps promote little ol' Mommy Bloggers like me. Do you see the badge in the sidebar to the right side of this post? It says, "Vote for Me - Mommy Hotspot." Well, if you found it, CLICK ON IT!

I get a vote for each click and I could actually win a little something. That doesn't interest me as much as expanding my audience, though. I would love to be able to touch the hearts of women everywhere. It's a dream of mine.

Also, if you haven't already, join the blog as a follower by clicking "Join this site" above the beautiful little pics of my followers. That will help my audience grow. And, honestly ya'll, the sweetest thing you could do for me is share my posts on Facebook or send them to a Mom who needs some encouragement and laughter. I do this for sanity, to keepsake memories, and most importantly, to make other women realize they are not alone.

So, there's my shameless plug. I hope it wasn't tacky. But, hey, if it was, remember I'm from the South! And we are all about some tacky!

Click the above button if you haven't done so yet! 

Miniature People Prayers

I must admit I have a love-hate relationship with putting my kids to bed.  

After the whole bath, toothbrush, "Get-in-here-and-don't-make-me-say-it-again" routine, I kind of lose my nicey-nicey-ness.

There's an internal Mommy-dialogue going on inside my brain. I teeter-totter between cherishing these fleeting, precious moments and trying to maintain my composure and not scream "Be still and hush-up because Mommy is mentally ready to shut off for the day!"

But, even in my frustration, there is one thing that seems to make time stand still and make all my icky feelings go away.

When my kids pray.

After singing our little Bible songs, (and Peanut closes Jesus loves me with "the Bible tells me soap") my boys say their prayers. 

Well, Opie says his prayers. Peanut has not wanted to say prayers for a while. 

He used to do the "God Our Father" prayer-song at dinner. But once he hit the ripe old age of two, he took a vow of silence in the prayer department.

The past week, however, He has started praying again. And they are the typical sweet prayers that most kids pray. He prays for everything and I mean, everything.

Opie always liked praying, but he was more of a routine prayer. He prayed for the same things every night and never got much into the "Thank you for the sky, trees, butterflies, etc" kind of mantra. But that is his personality. He is still my careful, thoughtful little man.

Opie. 8 years old. March 2013

Peanut, on the other hand, is a loose canon. The opposite of Opie. 

Peanut. Talking to himself. And having a grand time doing so. March 2013

I must say, though, I do enjoy hearing his prayers. He is so perceptive and his prayers change daily, reflecting on moments that made an impression on him. That is amazing to me. He covers his eyes with his chubby little hands, and with a small hushed voice he prays. 

Here are my favorites since he returned to his holy dialogue:

Saturday, after having chicken for dinner and watching my husband filet a live fish Opie caught, this was his prayer:

"Tank you God for chicken, chicken wegs, dat fish, and gettin' to see dat fish's mowf (mouth)."

Wednesday, after playing in the woods at a new friend's house, he prayed this:

"Tank you for my brudder, for pway-doh, sticks, acorns and Kyleigh's house." 

And tonight, his prayer reflected the book on body parts we read before naptime:

"Tank you for dis day, and eyes, and ears, and head, and elbows, and knees, and toes, and body, and wegs, and mowf, and buttcheeks..."

Buttcheeks? That was not in our book. But, hey, ain't it great to be thankful for it all?!?!

One thing's for certain. The days are long with small children. But, moments like prayer at bedtime with my munchkins make it all worthwhile. 

And I am well aware that one day I would pay any amount of money just to have one more night with chubby little hands and a red-head giggling at his baby brother's prayers.

Thank you, God, for my boys. For using them to teach me that laughter is great. To be thankful for it all. To see You throughout the day. And that life is short. Help me to be still and soak. this. IN. 

November 2012

Spring 2012. Central Park. NYC.

Roseline's for a Delicious Farm Breakfast. March 2013.

At the Pet Store. Begging for a bunny since it was Easter. March 2013.

My Brain Still Works...Sort Of

I think I had a few more brain cells in this picture before Peanut was born... circa 2009.

I'm not sure if it's just me, but sometimes I wonder if my brain has disintegrated.

I have locked myself out of my car only to realize later that I had my keys all along.

My husband will ask me if I "remember the time..." and I don't remember it in the slightest.

I shave only one leg and never realize it until I am out of the shower and dried off. (Then I have to get all back in the shower, shave the neglected leg and towel-dry off all over again...Ain't Nobody Got Time for Dat!)

But, today I saw signs of life in the old noggin... 

Opie used to have two aquatic frogs when he was little. And, at age four, Opie named all his pets...how you saaaaay...random-on-the-spot-and-off-the-top-of-his-head. 

Opie, at Age Four. 2009

For instance, Frog #1 he named "Best-Friend." 

For two years, though, the cooky name of Frog #2 has eluded me. It's been stuck somewhere in the back of my mind between my mental grocery list and a New Kids on the Block Christmas song.

Yet, I'd like to report that this evening around 6:38 pm Eastern Standard Time, a memory nerve in my brain must have been fighting for it's last breath. While speaking about tadpoles to Opie, all of a sudden Frog #2's identity was shoved to the tip of my tongue in true 'before-I-had-kids-that-drained-every-bit-of-brain-juice-dry' fashion.

"CARE-THICK!!!", I yelled out at Opie. "You're second frog's name was Care-thick!" 

Hallelujah!!! 

I had actually remembered the most random pet-name ever created.

And, ladies and gentlemen, THAT was the highlight of my day. 

This kid, however,  is a highlight of my life. Look at little he was here at age five!

A Big Decision

Opie was baptized a few weeks ago.

He'd been throwing all kinds of questions at us for a while. Then, he started saying, "Mom, I really want to know more about God."

So, we talked. A lot.

At one point he said, "Mom, I feel like the more answers I get, the more questions I have."

Welcome to life.

"Son, it will always be that way," I told Him. "And that's okay. Just remember, that committing your life to follow Christ doesn't mean you will have all of the answers. It just means that no matter what your questions are, you choose to always put your trust in Jesus."

I was then able (with a lump in my throat) to share the true beauty of following Christ. How He has (despite my wondering heart) continued to pursue me and fill me with hope, love and peace. 

April 14, 2013. Jayden's baptism and first communion. 

As I watch my oldest son grow and mature into an amazing little man, my heart is humbled.

Because I know ME.

But, the beauty is that God has still used this selfish, sometimes-grumpy Momma to lead her child towards the only One who can bring true wholeness to His life. 

And my heart is full. Beyond what I could ever have asked or imagined. 

Lord, continue to use me to point my boys to You, the Creator and Perfecter of my faith. May I only boast in my weaknesses, because when I am weak, You are strong. Change me to be like Jesus. And may my boys seek after the very Heart that brought theirs to life. 

Rising Above the Vomit

Crazy month.

I'll summarize it:

Car wreck. ER trip (not related to car wreck). Vomit. Diarrhea. Vomit. Diarrhea. ER trip. Fever. Chills. Endoscopy (see pic above). Heartburn. Diarrhea. Strep Throat. More Diarrhea. Spend Small Fortune on Probiotics. More Strep Throat. 

And that's just the highlights. (There have been a few days of rest in there.)

Can I say something, though?

The old me would have repeated, "Why me?" over and over in my head. I would have wanted to run for the hills, wordy-dirds flying all the way. (Ok, I might have mumbled a few wordy-dirds. Hey, I ain't perfect."

Not that I haven't had my moments of, "Seriously? Does someone have a voodoo doll character set for my family?"

But, in the midst of it all, God has whispered the true summary of the past month to my heart.

"Blessed. Blessed. Blessed. Blessed. Blessed. Blessed. Blessed, Blessed. Blessed. Blessed. Blessed."

My circumstances didn't get better, but by standing firm in the belief that God is good in the midst of the chaos, my attitude changed. 

God's goodness seems questionable at times. That is just how our human minds think. We only see the here and now.

But God isn't human. Thank goodness. 

Trust in His goodness, even when things aren't "good."

That is when He changes us to be more like Christ. 

Ask God to help you rise above your circumstances this week, as I continue to do the same! 

(And, while you're at it, ask Him to cut me a little break on the ER trips.)

The Lord is good to all;

    he has compassion on all he has made. 

Psalm 145:9

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

Ephesians 4:22-25

Blessed Indeed.

What's Your Value?

I've been laying very low lately. And for me, that is hard.

I like going. Doing.

But, I've been asking myself lately, "Why do I do what I do?"

I constantly found myself tired, bitter, jealous and even depressed. After this pattern in my life for as far back as I can remember, God has graciously shown me something.

It all boils down to where I am looking for my value.

I want others to like me. Ok, not just like me. REALLY like me. To think I am something special. Worth something. Valuable.

That's not all together wrong. Every one wants to be liked. It's part of being human.

But, I realized that half of what I was doing was a feeble attempt to find self-worth.

Case in point:

I put pressures on myself to cook more elaborate meals, decorate harder for holidays, clean better, workout, dress more stylish and even plan family activities in order to "measure up" or "keep up" with what it sure seems everyone else out there is doing.

And then, I had to "document" it through Instagram, Facebook and other "look at me" arenas. Why? 

The truth is, most of my life is unglamorous. And, yet I have found myself trying so hard to convince myself and others otherwise. It is maddening!

Now, while I recognize this is my struggle, I am convinced that it is a prevalent problem.

Why do any of us feel the need to share the glorious moments of our lives?

We can't wait to post a pic of our perfect vacation, our kitchen re-do, or our skinny pictures. We work hard to let others know that we have performed our "wifely duties" and created a meal worthy of Martha Stewart. We post statuses of how fantastic our family outing was or how picture-perfect our kid's birthday party was. We even use our cell phones as mini-glamour-shot sessions to get a picture worthy of our Facebook profile shot.

Am I the only one who sees how sick this is getting?

Deep down, we want people to think we are worth something. We want to impress. To prove that we are (or once were) smart, organized, creative, funny, and pretty. Valuable.

We are all searching for value.

Where we find it, though, can be glorious or dangerous.

Are you losing sight of where your value is? I was.

Do you realize that your worth isn't found in your waistline, your husband, your ability to home-school your kids, your pocketbook, your number of blog-followers, your well-behaved children, your fashion-sense or any other darn-tootin' earthly thing?

The truth is, we are worth more than gold.

And it is by nothing we do. It is because of Whose we are.

www.freedigitalimages.net

God sent His Son to prove my value. I'm learning to REST in that fact.


Please, share how God might be showing you that you are seeking value in the wrong places? I love hearing from you. We are in this together!