Idiom Idiot

Idioms have never been my strong suit. 

And I get it honest. 

My Dad messes his phrases up, too.

In fact, when it comes to anything verbal, chances are I'm gonna botch something up. But, Lord be with me when I try to use phrases. Let's just say, I am quickly reminded that the idiom part of my brain did not quite develop properly. 

Here's proof.

1. Telling my boss over the phone that the 

display I created was so good, it was going to 

"blow his pants down." 

Let me explain myself.  

I combined two idioms. (I don't recommend that.)

"Blow your mind" and "Knock your socks off"

Only somehow, "socks" got turned into "pants."

2. I once told an old lady at church that 
her good friends were "a dime a dozen."

I thought that was a compliment.

Yikes.

You ever said anything you wish you could take back?

Welcome to my world. 

How 'bout a Healthy Diddy?

I don't really do New Year's Resolutions. I tend to abandon ship after two weeks of any kind of major change. But, since gaining weight after my hip surgery and pulling my back out a couple of weeks ago (talk about feeling like an old fogey), I have been on a mission to take back my health.

It isn't easy to make lots of changes to get healthy. I have made little strides here and there. But, when I noticed myself bailing out of the family football game for the past two years, I realized I was turning into the very person I never wanted to be.

I want to be active. I want to feel healthy. And most importantly, I want to set my family up for success by living an example of healthy living. Not just by eating healthy food. And not by allowing my body to be my obsession. But, simply to teach my children that if you take care of your body from an early age, you will be grateful later.  I didn't realize that health was much more than how I physically looked. I was a cheerleader in High School, so I always prided myself on knowing how to stretch, exercise and work hard. But, knowing how and actually doing it are two very different things.

Now, I can finally say I have had enough.

Enough sitting back while others bike mountains, run races, and chase goals.

Enough feeling sorry for myself and believing that I can't do it.

Enough excuses about how my family takes it all out of me. (That is an ol' trusty one.)

Enough watching my life pass me by and thinking that "one day" it will happen.

I have done a few new things that I believe have set me and my family up for success. I am by no means an expert on any subject. But, I have always failed to "stick" with anything for long periods.  So, here is how I had to change my way of thinking.

I Can't NOT Exercise. (And, yes, Mom. That is a double negative.)

It isn't a choice anymore. I have struggled with depression. My body is headed South, literally. And I finally realized that if I wanted a better quality of life, then I have to be the one to change it. For my mental and physical health, I must do it. The days I don't, I can tell. And so can my husband. (cuz I'm grumpy!)

Make Sugar Once A Week

I kept sugar in my house for years, out of fear that my kids would go hog-wild on the stuff if I kept it from them totally. But, I found myself constantly "cheating" and my boys whining for treats after every meal. So, I came up with a new idea. One night during the week, I let my boys pick out a dessert they want to try. On Friday or Saturday, we all bake it together. It's great bonding time. I'm teaching my boys to cook, and dessert is back to being a treat instead of an expectation. We don't go hog wild on it, but we do enjoy it. And whatever is left over by Sunday, we toss it. I know my boys will have the occasional birthday cake or a sucker after a haircut, but for the most part, sugar is out. (And might I add, it is FUN to sit down as a family and pick out fantastic desserts to try together!)

Stick to Whole Foods

Whole wheat products. Fresh or frozen whole fruits. Fresh or frozen whole vegetables. Beans. Low-Fat Dairy. I have not (nor plan to at this point) jumped on the gluten-free band wagon, so it's not difficult to stick to this. Best rule of thumb? Stick to the perimeter of the grocery store. Don't buy snack foods and treats for your kids. They will survive. Mine have. Organic Tortilla chips and salsa. Hummus and carrots. It might take some convincing and even some determination, but your kids will follow suit. I promise. (And Peanut is still a challenge!)

Only Water and Tea.

Not sweet tea. I'm Southern. Tea wasn't tea unless there was four cups of sugar in it. I fought this one long and hard, but finally cut out coffee and traded it for hot tea. Among my favorites? Peppermint, Chamomile, Green and any citrus flavored tea. Add a little honey and voila! You have a new low-cal treat. Don't expect it to taste like a latte. But, stick with it. It will grow on you.

VITAMINS. VITAMINS. VITAMINS.

I hate vitamins. I always buy them and intend to be good. But, I take the horse pills for a couple of days and then tap out. But, while visiting a friend whose genius husband is a biologist, I was told how Fish Oil is literally the BEST thing you can do for your nutrition. So, while weaning off a certain medication, it has been vital in helping me maintain my mental clarity. I take Fish Oil (3500 mg per day), Vitamin D3 (1000 mg per 15 pounds of body weight), Vitamin B Complex (I double the recommended dosage), and Emergenc-C (two packs a day during cold/flu season). My kids take chewable organic Multi-vitamins, Fish Oil (that they love!) and Vitamin C. As we all sit down to eat breakfast, I pull the huge basket off the top of the fridge and divvy up our goodies! It's now a part of our routine and the kids don't let me forget! If you are uncertain about which vitamins you should take, go to an herbal specialist. I buy mine from various places but Swanson is a great website with amazing prices.

Think About Your Future

We have good friends in South Carolina. The husband was wanting a work-out buddy to get in shape. He approached a friend of his and asked if he would be interested in working out with him. The guy said, "No." When our friend asked him what he planned on doing if he wasn't going to get in shape, he replied, "I don't know. I'll probably just get old and die." Wow. Now there's a quality of life worth fighting for. No thanks. I'm not going down without a fight. I know there will be uphill battles, injuries, surgeries, sickness, and a lot of other trials, but I want to live a quality of life that allows my family to do more than we can imagine. I want to kayak, bike, hike the Grand Canyon, do a Mud Run, etc. And it's not going to happen by me sitting around feeling sorry for myself.

So, there it is folks. My new way of thinking. The old way trickles back in. But, I just force those thoughts out. God has given me this body to take care of to do His purposes. How can I do that if I'm constantly sluggish and mentally exhausted?

And I by NO means have conquered it all. In fact, I hesitated to write this because some people will read it and feel worse about themselves. DON'T! It took me a lot of inward soul-searching and physical hurdles to get to this point. Just don't sell yourself short. You are worth the investment. Stop doing it to be skinny. Do it for your kids. For your spouse. And look forward to the many years ahead of living.

PS. My first priorities are my time with God, my family, and my gym time. So if I can carve time out after fulfilling those things, I plan to post some of my new favorite quinoa recipes. It's pronounced 'keen-wah'. If you haven't tried it, don't be intimidated. It's easy as pie to cook with. Promise.

'Til then! Live Well!

He's One of the reasons I want to Live Fully. My silly boy!

And I'm Going to Have To Be Healthy To Keep Up with Peanut!

Perfection is Over-Rated

Some days I get it "perfect."

I wake up happy.
I cook a healthy breakfast and remember to take my vitamins. :)
I workout at the gym.
I play with my boys, without a looming to-do list in the back of my mind.
I read my Bible.
I don't check Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest umpteen times.
I get laundry caught up.
I actually clean the kitchen.
I kiss my husband when he walks in the door.
We eat a home-cooked dinner together.
We share a Bible story and pray together as a family before bedtime.
The kids go to bed with one of my make-up-as-I-go shadow puppet shows.
My husband and I enjoy the last minutes before shut-eye chatting over a cup of tea.

Those are the days I feel great. Like I've got it together. I mean, I deserve a Suzy-homemaker ribbon, right? I can close my eyes and mentally pat myself on the back, because I did it.

But, then, day two begins.

I wake up exhausted.
I'm too tired to cook and do those dang dishes, so I whip out the cereal and milk.
I skip the gym and kick myself for doing so later.
I'm with my boys, but mentally thinking of the oodles of things I should be doing.
I notice my Bible.
I Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest while the laundry beckons.
I think of the dust on top of the fridge and mentally want to shut down.
I verbally and emotionally unload on my husband the moment he walks in the door.
We order pizza. (which makes my earlier gym decision all the more regretful)
The kids run around like wild stallions.
We do a quick family "fill-your-quota" kind of prayer.
I basically threaten the children's existence if they even think about calling my name or getting up out of the bed, because Mommy. Is. Done.
My husband flips on the TV and prays to himself that I will just go to bed for the love of all that is good in this world.
No tea.

Those are the days I don't talk about. The days where inside, I am literally crying out to God, "Why can't I get it together? What is wrong with me?"

Those days are rough.

And, I've tried muscling through it. Praying through it. Reading scripture through it. Positively talking to myself through it. Making lists. Following schedules. Trying the next big thing to get my act together.

But, the truth is. I can't do anything. Sure, I still plug away at willing myself to change. But, my sheer will and human nature will fail me every time.

It is He who must work. It is on those "perfect" days where, though grateful as I may be, I seem to rely on Him a little less. After all, I did it pretty well on my own, thank-you-very-much.

But, those days when it all falls apart, physically and emotionally, I am forced to look beyond myself and see my need for help. For a Savior.

I could have a perfect day each day. Where my house is totally spic'n span. Where my verbal outbursts are nonexistent. Where my self-discipline allows me to follow my set schedule down to the letter. But, it is not on those days where I am forced to come to grips with how much I need His help.

I'm a mess. 

But, the good exciting amazing news is, He is changing me.

The daily imperfections of life and ourselves are the very thing that should cause us to fall on our knees and be thankful that He came. So, that in the ashes, we can take confidence that it isn't in our ability that beauty will rise. It is in His alone.

So, let you and I take heart.

We don't have to have it all together. He is our perfection and in that we have hope.

My "perfect" days are few and far between. And for that, I am learning to be thankful.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

2 Corinthians 12:9

Is This Thing Still On...?

"Checking. Checking. 1,2,3... "

Hi.

Yes, it's been a while.

I must say, there have been countless times I wanted to blog. Where I felt the urge to share.

But, something kept telling me to "wait." Well, not some thing, but some One.

You see, I'm quite social. And, if you couldn't tell already, I love to talk.

And to be painfully honest, I like to hear myself talk. Especially when I feel like I have it figured out.

Whatever "it" is.

But, God has been doing a number on me. Lawd have mercy, has He!

The past few months have brought out a lot of inner junk. As my husband likes to say, "I have a lot of junk in my trunk." (both figuratively and literally...HA!)

I kept struggling with the same "stuff." Lots of stuff. Piles and piles of stuff.

And one thing kept coming into my heart.

"Listen."

I've always prayed for wisdom. And I have asked that no matter what the cost, I would be open to it.

And, one thing I saw was that for me to listen, a few things had to happen.

I needed to put a sock in it.

We women like to talk. Boy, do we. About everything. One thing I noticed in my study of Proverbs over and over was the theme of "silence" and "wisdom" going hand in hand. However, I was sure that didn't take aim at me...! I mean, I had good things to share...about God, above all else! And it wasn't talking bad about someone if I ended it with "Bless her heart!" So, my talking was fine. And, I needed to talk. It was therapeutic for me to talk. I could go on and on about any subject of your choosing... But, after reading James 3, about the damage my mouth can do, I took it to heart. It's time for me to hush. To stop thinking I need to impart my two cents on it all. And for that, my husband is thankful. If only, I could do this 100%... Hey, I'm a work in progress.

I needed to clear my schedule. 

I was running myself half crazy trying to be everything to everybody. See if you can relate:

"So-and-so had a baby and nobody had a shower for her?!! Well, Jesus would want me to be his hands and feet, so I better go plan a baby shower! And Needy Judy is struggling so I should call to see if we can get together to cheer her up. And I need to make a home-made meal to take to the new mom at church. Bless my neglected children's hearts. I haven't done anything from Pinterest lately like so-and-so. How does she find time to do it all? I need a girl's night. That's what I need. Friday night. But, it's been weeks since Lance and I had a date night...What??!! Home Goods is having a sale?? Look at the dust on my night stand. Good grief."

I called an audible. For Pete's sake, I just needed permission to focus on my family. To not be everyone's Savior. (We already have one and He's much better at it than I am.) To live each day slowly and know that by clearing my schedule, I cleared my mind's noise and was able to actually "listen."

I needed to find my first love. 

I love Christians. Heck, I am one. But, can I be really real? We sure can be a bunch of judgmental pious know-it-alls who walk around with about as much inner joy and peace as a bucket of lead. I have spent so many years trying to do things right (which is not a bad thing), and know the right answers that I forgot the whole reason why I believe what I believe.

Jesus.

He's my hope. My strength when I am weak. My friend when I am lonely. A father that never lets me down. My constant. My counselor. My truth. My inner peace. My joy.

My first love shouldn't be "getting it right". In Revelations, Paul told one of the churches that they had lost their "first love", which of course, was God.

Getting it right is fine and all, but when we sacrifice seeking the One who made it all, we have missed the entire mark.

I can't even tell you what this looks like. I wrestle daily with learning to grasp His love for me and what that even means. But, I can tell you this. He never disappoints. My prayers for true wisdom have not gone unanswered. He reveals things through His Word to me constantly and through His Holy Spirit. It isn't always easy. But, the inner rewards are worth the journey. Proverbs talks about seeking wisdom as a treasure. I just had to realize that I was placing value on the wrong things.

So, before I get any wordier than I already have, let me end by saying: I haven't got it figured out and I mess up royally on a daily basis, but He is faithful.

PS.  I am not returning to blogging full-time yet. I still feel the need to focus on listening to God and to be emotionally present for my kids and my husband. It's my temptation to busy myself with other things. Silence is hard. But for now, that is what I am being led to work on. This was my heart. Thanks for letting me share. I miss you guys!

What are some things God is working on in your life?

Professional Nose Picker

The bead is out. 

I repeat, the bead is out.

It lay in Peanut's nasal cavity for nine whole days.

For those of you who don't know, my two-year old stuck a bead up his nose last week. Everyone seemed to doubt that it was still up there. 

Everyone but me. 

I knew that yellow bead hadn't made it's way to his digestive tract or any other tract for that matter. I had a feeling it was still tucked away nicely in his nose, perfectly out of sight.

You ask me how I know.

I know, because things aren't done half-way in the Hendrick household.

I know, because I'd already searched through poop for a quarter that Opie had swallowed when he was three. "Stuffing object up nose" was still needing to be checked off of my parent checklist.

The E.N.T. went up and immediately extracted the little booger. 

Not the bead. He literally extracted a little booger that was blocking the view to Peanut's upper nasal cavity.

Then he saw it. The bead. Snuggled deep inside Peanut's nose. 

Who knew doctors could stick instruments so far up noses?

Who knew a twenty-five pound Peanut could be so strong when you start putting those instruments up there? 

For now, the bead fiasco is over. Peanut is safe. And the antibiotics will begin tonight. 

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to rid my home of anything smaller than a basketball...lest I have to check anything else off of my parent checklist.

Happiness? Bah-Humbug.

I used to try to be happy.

Really hard.

I tried smiling more. I worked out more. I read my Bible more. I prayed more for happiness.

But the harder I worked to find it, the more happiness seemed to elude me. Why would God not answer such a heartfelt prayer?

My life felt empty. It was even worse since I was supposed to be a Christian and here I was struggling with finding happiness!?! The guilt alone from that made me even more unhappy! Why couldn't I just be happy for heaven's sake?

Then, I had my first baby. I was certain I would find happiness. But, post-partum depression kicked in. Insomnia started. I was emotionally and physically exhausted. "Where are you God?" I cried to Him. "I know You have the power to heal me and bring me to a better place. Why aren't You helping me? I am in pain and You are choosing to be silent? Where are You?"

Happiness was no where in sight. I figured that God was punishing me for something. At times, I even questioned my Faith, and wondered why I continued to pray to someone who obviously didn't care. If He really was there, He would have known how unbearable it was and would have healed me.

That was a tough place to be.  It's been eight years since that time and I am amazed at how far I've come. Not like I'm saying, "I have arrived, ladies! And, man, is the view from the top great!" No way! I am still climbing this mountain, but it feels good when you know you've made some progress, right?

Happiness is such a loaded word. We think it means being all smiles, waking up every day and thinking, "I am so happy! Isn't life wonderful? Like a big bowl of cherries!" Well, sorry Pollyana, but when I'm around someone like that, I want to haul off and whack 'em in the back of the head. "Hey! Why don't you be real and keep your annoying happiness to yourself!" (Wowzers. Perhaps that was a bit much?)

The truth is true inner happiness is not an emotion. It's a state of mind. When I stopped waiting for my circumstances to change, for my husband to meet my expectations, or for my finances to be in order to be happy, I found contentment...which led to happiness.

My life has been more stressful in the past two years than ever before. I have cried more tears, dealt with more disappointments and lived in less than satisfying situations more than ever before, yet, I am happier than ever. (I know. It's shocking.)

The thing is, I stopped waiting on life to make me happy. Once I realized how deeply I was loved, (no matter how ugly or how messed up I had been) I was free to be happy. It had nothing to do with my situation. It had everything to do with my internal dialogue and resting in God's love.

God meant for us to lead a happy life. How we learn to do that though, is much harder than I ever realized. I look back and see that even in my deepest moments of despair, He wasn't ignoring me. He was teaching me to trust that He was there. Not to make everything better, but to show me that happiness isn't in this world, but in the depths of my soul, where He is. Where true happiness can not be destroyed, no matter what is happening externally.

Anger, tears, frustration, fears, insecurity, etc...All of these things were part of my finding true happiness. My Faith in God and staying near to His Word (even when I questioned my faith) kept me struggling on the path to find what I so desperately wanted. It was when I finally became content in the lows, that I was able to find true happiness.

And now, I stand here on the side of this mountain of life (Wow. That sounds all philosophical and stuff), looking at what I have gone through, and am deeply happy. It's that depth of happiness that makes me appreciate what I went through to get here.

And there's still sooo much more to learn...

photo credit: Dithedy via photo pin cc

Poop Hunt

I like buried treasure.

But, not this kind.

You see, this morning Peanut found a tiny round yellow bead in the yard.

He was fascinated by it. He held it as I changed his diaper. He pretended to eat it, grinning every time I told him not to put it in his mouth. I should have known that stinker was up to no good.

I was putting the laundry hamper at the top of the stairs and preparing to get ready for our play-date when I heard him in the pantry behind me...

"Wheh' it go?"

I turned around, responding to his precious voice. (I smile every time that kid utters a word.)

"Where's what, buddy?"

He pointed to his nose.

"Wheh' it go?"

"Did you drop something in the pantry?" I asked him.

 I still wasn't computing. 

"Wheh' it go?" he said one more time as he pointed to his nose.

At that moment the "Oh, crap" side of my brain received it's first drip of my morning coffee.

"THE BEAD!!!"

I fell to my knees, lifted his chin and peered up his nose.

Way up in the tippy-top of his left nostril lay the bead. Stuck. Like, really stuck.

I tried to feel it through the outside of his nose, hoping to push it downward and loosen it.

You'd have thought I was amputating Peanut's arm, the way he was screaming. He probably knew by the panic on my face and in my voice, that the situation was not a good one.

I tried to reason with him.

He's two. That didn't work well.

So, I did the only thing I knew to do.

I blew my nose at him. "Do that, buddy!!! Blow your nose like this!"

He looked at me, stopped crying and much to my horror, he did the exact opposite of my glorious demonstration. He sucked IN with all of his might. "No! No! Noooooooooo!!!"

I took another look.

Gone.

As in, the bead is no longer visible or attainable. As in, I could already picture the X-ray and the surgery planned to retrieve this dad-blasted yellow bead.

"So much for the play-date. I'll be headed to the ER," I thought.

But, my pediatrician told me it was possible that it went down the back of his throat and he swallowed it. Also, since it's plastic, it probably wouldn't show up on the X-ray, anyway.

So, all I can do for the next couple of days is wait.

And search for buried treasure.

Every time he poops. :)

But, knowing what could be in the cards if I don't find that bead, I'll be shaken' my own booty if I find that booty.