Presidential Dumb-dumb

Welcome to Hotel Homeschool... Newborn Style.

Opie had just started first grade when Peanut was born. Two weeks later, we moved to Maryland to live in a hotel while my husband finished job training. I didn't want Opie to have to change schools three times in one year, so I decided (in a moment of temporary insanity),  to homeschool him in the hotel (with a newborn!?!) until we could get settled in New Jersey. (Oh. My. Word!)

Since we were so close to D.C., I decided to take a field trip into the city to visit some famous monuments. I was thankful to be able to do this with him at such an impressionable age. I was determined to take full advantage of living so close to such a great city. 

When we arrived in Washington, I was in awe myself. I'd only ridden through the city once, years before, and I was as giddy as he was. (okay, probably more so)

We walked to the World War II Memorial and gazed at the fountains and the giant eagles. I shared with Opie some of the names etched on the stones and what they meant. It was moving and powerful. I was already deeply impressed with how I, his Mother, was handling this field trip. Didn't I deserve to be nominated for some Homeschooling Hall of Fame Award? 

(Ever notice that right when you think you're Smarty McSmarterton, you get whacked back down to Gumby status?)

We moved on past the Reflection Pool towards the pinnacle of our day: the awe-inspiring Lincoln Memorial. Inside, I was brimming with enthusiasm. "This moment could be a defining moment in Opie's life," I thought. "Where he could embark forth on a journey to become president himself.  I could just picture him swearing in, saying, "I owe it all to my Mother, who lit a spark in me on the day we stood at the foot of the Lincoln Memorial. She is the reason I stand before you today." He was about to see a magnificent example of how your life and character can make history.

We approached the Memorial. 

As we rounded the corner, Opie's eyes grew wide as he looked up at the enormous statue of Abraham Lincoln. For a moment, I watched him soak in the vast space around him. The huge columns. The etched writings of Lincoln on the walls. The richness of our Nation's history. His curiosity was palpable and this supermom was about to make homeschool history.

 So, with great passion and purpose, I spoke....(*Cue symphony of Star Spangled Banner*)

"Opie, (pause.) This is Abraham Lincoln, the fifth president of the United States of America."

What mother had e'er spoken words with such conviction and truth? 

"What did you just say?" my husband asked. 

I sensed I'd said something incorrectly. 

"Oh, Silly me! Opie, he was the sixth president."

My husband shook his head.

"Seventh?"

Nope.

"Tenth?"

Wrong again.

"Thirteenth?"

Getting Warmer.

"Fifteenth?"

You gotta be kidding.

"Sixteenth!"

Somebody get this girl a cookie. 



So, the teachable moment? Not like I'd planned. 

My mommy big-head? Deflated.

And that Homeschool Hall of Fame Award? I'd have a better chance at winning the Nobel Peace Prize.

"And to think," my husband added, 
"you are in charge of my child's education."