Tuesday, April 30, 2013

A Big Decision

Opie was baptized a few weeks ago.

He'd been throwing all kinds of questions at us for a while. Then, he started saying, "Mom, I really want to know more about God."

So, we talked. A lot.

At one point he said, "Mom, I feel like the more answers I get, the more questions I have."

Welcome to life.

"Son, it will always be that way," I told Him. "And that's okay. Just remember, that committing your life to follow Christ doesn't mean you will have all of the answers. It just means that no matter what your questions are, you choose to always put your trust in Jesus."

I was then able (with a lump in my throat) to share the true beauty of following Christ. How He has (despite my wondering heart) continued to pursue me and fill me with hope, love and peace. 

April 14, 2013. Jayden's baptism and first communion. 

As I watch my oldest son grow and mature into an amazing little man, my heart is humbled.

Because I know ME.

But, the beauty is that God has still used this selfish, sometimes-grumpy Momma to lead her child towards the only One who can bring true wholeness to His life. 

And my heart is full. Beyond what I could ever have asked or imagined. 

Lord, continue to use me to point my boys to You, the Creator and Perfecter of my faith. May I only boast in my weaknesses, because when I am weak, You are strong. Change me to be like Jesus. And may my boys seek after the very Heart that brought theirs to life. 


Friday, April 12, 2013

Rising Above the Vomit

Crazy month.

I'll summarize it:

Car wreck. ER trip (not related to car wreck). Vomit. Diarrhea. Vomit. Diarrhea. ER trip. Fever. Chills. Endoscopy (see pic above). Heartburn. Diarrhea. Strep Throat. More Diarrhea. Spend Small Fortune on Probiotics. More Strep Throat. 

And that's just the highlights. (There have been a few days of rest in there.)

Can I say something, though?

The old me would have repeated, "Why me?" over and over in my head. I would have wanted to run for the hills, wordy-dirds flying all the way. (Ok, I might have mumbled a few wordy-dirds. Hey, I ain't perfect."

Not that I haven't had my moments of, "Seriously? Does someone have a voodoo doll character set for my family?"

But, in the midst of it all, God has whispered the true summary of the past month to my heart.

"Blessed. Blessed. Blessed. Blessed. Blessed. Blessed. Blessed, Blessed. Blessed. Blessed. Blessed."

My circumstances didn't get better, but by standing firm in the belief that God is good in the midst of the chaos, my attitude changed. 

God's goodness seems questionable at times. That is just how our human minds think. We only see the here and now.

But God isn't human. Thank goodness. 

Trust in His goodness, even when things aren't "good."

That is when He changes us to be more like Christ. 

Ask God to help you rise above your circumstances this week, as I continue to do the same! 

(And, while you're at it, ask Him to cut me a little break on the ER trips.)

The Lord is good to all;
    he has compassion on all he has made. 
Psalm 145:9

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

Ephesians 4:22-25
Blessed Indeed.


Wednesday, April 3, 2013

What's Your Value?

I've been laying very low lately. And for me, that is hard.

I like going. Doing.

But, I've been asking myself lately, "Why do I do what I do?"

I constantly found myself tired, bitter, jealous and even depressed. After this pattern in my life for as far back as I can remember, God has graciously shown me something.

It all boils down to where I am looking for my value.

I want others to like me. Ok, not just like me. REALLY like me. To think I am something special. Worth something. Valuable.

That's not all together wrong. Every one wants to be liked. It's part of being human.

But, I realized that half of what I was doing was a feeble attempt to find self-worth.

Case in point:

I put pressures on myself to cook more elaborate meals, decorate harder for holidays, clean better, workout, dress more stylish and even plan family activities in order to "measure up" or "keep up" with what it sure seems everyone else out there is doing.

And then, I had to "document" it through Instagram, Facebook and other "look at me" arenas. Why? 

The truth is, most of my life is unglamorous. And, yet I have found myself trying so hard to convince myself and others otherwise. It is maddening!

Now, while I recognize this is my struggle, I am convinced that it is a prevalent problem.

Why do any of us feel the need to share the glorious moments of our lives?

We can't wait to post a pic of our perfect vacation, our kitchen re-do, or our skinny pictures. We work hard to let others know that we have performed our "wifely duties" and created a meal worthy of Martha Stewart. We post statuses of how fantastic our family outing was or how picture-perfect our kid's birthday party was. We even use our cell phones as mini-glamour-shot sessions to get a picture worthy of our Facebook profile shot.

Am I the only one who sees how sick this is getting?

Deep down, we want people to think we are worth something. We want to impress. To prove that we are (or once were) smart, organized, creative, funny, and pretty. Valuable.

We are all searching for value.

Where we find it, though, can be glorious or dangerous.

Are you losing sight of where your value is? I was.

Do you realize that your worth isn't found in your waistline, your husband, your ability to home-school your kids, your pocketbook, your number of blog-followers, your well-behaved children, your fashion-sense or any other darn-tootin' earthly thing?

The truth is, we are worth more than gold.

And it is by nothing we do. It is because of Whose we are.


God sent His Son to prove my value. I'm learning to REST in that fact.

Please, share how God might be showing you that you are seeking value in the wrong places? I love hearing from you. We are in this together!