Do I Really Believe?

www.freedigitalimages.net

God's been up to a lot.

In fact, the past three weeks have been the most challenging to my faith.

Ever.

A wrecked car, lots of throw-up, and a child with a yet-to-be-determined health problem are just a few of the things that have been on my plate.

But, in the moments of despair or uncertainty, I have heard this question in my heart:

"Does your faith meet you in the reality of this situation?"

If not, it's mere words and it isn't REAL.

God does not need lip service. (He sees right through it, actually.) 

He LOVES our hearts, even as broken and human as they are. 

I am weak and tired.

He has promised, "Come to me, all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest."

But, do I believe that? 

Or do I keep going and going until I break down on my kids or my husband or BOTH?

I am learning to apply my faith. I have, in my weaknesses lately, been able to see things that God has been trying to reveal about myself for a long time. 

And as hard as it is, I am thankful...

That He loves me too much to leave me as I am. 

That He wants me to EXPERIENCE the full life, not just psychologically convince myself that I am living it already. 

His Word is living. And I am glad to say I am just now really learning what that means. 

Hey, better late than never, right?

Talking Peanut

Peanut has had me cracking up ever since he started yapping.

I mean, He is a talker.

He gets it honest.

He is full of personality and can carry on a conversation at the ripe old age of two.

Here are two of my recent faves:

_________________________________________________________________________________

We were on the couch. I was on my laptop and Peanut was playing games on my iPhone.

I yelled at Opie as he ran outside, "Make sure you shut the door!" 

I didn't hear a door slam. As I leaned to see if it was closed, I said out loud to myself, "Well, did he shut it or not?"

Peanut didn't even look up from his game. "I hope so," he said. 

_________________________________________________________________________________

Opie had been having trouble with his first punk kid bully. 

After dropping him off at school one morning, I started talking to myself, rehearsing things he could say if the kid hit him again. I guess I got a little into it.

I said out loud (very passionately), "What do you think you're doing?"

From the backseat, a little voice piped up.

"I don' know."

_________________________________________________________________________________

That Peanut...

He has my heart.

Girl Scout Cookie Smackdown

There are few things I am certain of in life.

One is that, come March, it's Girl Scout cookie time. 

And that means two things: Thin Mints & Samoas, the latter being my favorite.

My Husband ordered two boxes at work this year: His Tagalongs and My Samoas. I got my Thin Mints from a neighbor.

But, it's a downward spiral from there.

Here's a lil' peek into our conversation yesterday in the kitchen: 

(Disclaimer: Children under 14 might need to stop reading at this point. Mature content to follow.)

Picture the Hubs. Standing in the kitchen. Just finishing lunch. Eating the last of the thin mints I'd used so much self-conrol with. (Take note: I was waiting to use my calorie-frenzy on the Samoas that had yet to arrive.)

Hubs: "I still haven't gotten the Tagalongs from work yet." (pause...nom, nom...casually biting into his Thin Mint) 

And then he dropped a bomb on me. 

"I made the mistake of opening the Samoas yesterday at my desk. (laughing to himself) Everyone who came to see me grabbed a few and before I knew it they were gone!" (again, with the laughing)

Ain't nobody laughin' over here Captain Spock.

The rest of the conversation was a blur. 

I think I even blacked out at some point. 

And as for my wonderful, precious, awesome Husband?

Oh, He knows better now then to ever mess with my Samoas. 

And, just so you know?

I had myself a brand new box of my annual indulgence by the end of the day. 

PS. I did tell my husband I wanted the names and addresses of each coward that stole from my original box. Justice will be served. 

Holy Moly

freedigitalimages.net

I've got five minutes.

That's it.

Then Opie will be walking in the door.

Uh-oh. I hear Peanut stirring from his nap... I only have a couple minutes now...

GO.

It's been an amazing week.

The kind where you feel God working and changing you to another level of faith.

It's exciting.

And uncomfortable.

I really like when I feel that I "get it."

But, the thing is, God constantly shows me that I don't "got it." (I know that was incorrect grammar; just roll with it...)

He's opening up my eyes to things.

LOTS of things.

So many, that I don't even know what to focus on in the blog.

Here's the major ones:

**I feel like God has placed a dream on my heart.

**He's challenging me on how I balance pursuing physical beauty and internal beauty.

**He's shown me how complacent I've become in my faith and how I've watered Him down in my way of thinking.

**He has revealed an internal dialogue of sabotage that goes on in my mind.

**He has brought me back to a place where I realize that He is bigger than I could ever imagine, and that my little life is so much more than I realize.

**He's opened my eyes to show me that I've become a mom and a wife serving through bitterness and selfishness instead of joy and purpose.

And, that's just to name a few... (What can I say? I'm screwed up.)

Now, I'm no scholar.

And I am about as weak and human as they come.

But, when you seek God and He is faithful to reveal things to the inner most parts of your heart,

you listen.

So, I wanted to ask of you, my fabulous readers, what should I write about in this internal smorgasbord of thoughts?

I LOVE your comments. I appreciate them. Please, let me know what you think.

I do this as a ministry to bring laughter and hope to ladies like us.

If you have it all together, giiiiiiiiirl, have you came to the wrong blog...




PS. Some of you might think, "What are you, a preacher?"
Nope. Not a preacher.
Just a messed up momma who God has changed.
And I want to live my life to the fullest because that is what God promised.
And it's a promise I intend on seeing lived out...