Wednesday, April 3, 2013

What's Your Value?

I've been laying very low lately. And for me, that is hard.

I like going. Doing.

But, I've been asking myself lately, "Why do I do what I do?"

I constantly found myself tired, bitter, jealous and even depressed. After this pattern in my life for as far back as I can remember, God has graciously shown me something.

It all boils down to where I am looking for my value.

I want others to like me. Ok, not just like me. REALLY like me. To think I am something special. Worth something. Valuable.

That's not all together wrong. Every one wants to be liked. It's part of being human.

But, I realized that half of what I was doing was a feeble attempt to find self-worth.

Case in point:

I put pressures on myself to cook more elaborate meals, decorate harder for holidays, clean better, workout, dress more stylish and even plan family activities in order to "measure up" or "keep up" with what it sure seems everyone else out there is doing.

And then, I had to "document" it through Instagram, Facebook and other "look at me" arenas. Why? 

The truth is, most of my life is unglamorous. And, yet I have found myself trying so hard to convince myself and others otherwise. It is maddening!

Now, while I recognize this is my struggle, I am convinced that it is a prevalent problem.

Why do any of us feel the need to share the glorious moments of our lives?

We can't wait to post a pic of our perfect vacation, our kitchen re-do, or our skinny pictures. We work hard to let others know that we have performed our "wifely duties" and created a meal worthy of Martha Stewart. We post statuses of how fantastic our family outing was or how picture-perfect our kid's birthday party was. We even use our cell phones as mini-glamour-shot sessions to get a picture worthy of our Facebook profile shot.

Am I the only one who sees how sick this is getting?

Deep down, we want people to think we are worth something. We want to impress. To prove that we are (or once were) smart, organized, creative, funny, and pretty. Valuable.

We are all searching for value.

Where we find it, though, can be glorious or dangerous.

Are you losing sight of where your value is? I was.

Do you realize that your worth isn't found in your waistline, your husband, your ability to home-school your kids, your pocketbook, your number of blog-followers, your well-behaved children, your fashion-sense or any other darn-tootin' earthly thing?

The truth is, we are worth more than gold.

And it is by nothing we do. It is because of Whose we are.

God sent His Son to prove my value. I'm learning to REST in that fact.

Please, share how God might be showing you that you are seeking value in the wrong places? I love hearing from you. We are in this together!



  1. Ok Bre, i am totally with you on this. In fact i truly believe if you asked most women if this is a struggle for them they would answer yes. (well, if they are being honest) i think social media is a blessing ... And a curse. Its an awfully slippery slop that you (i) can slide down way to easily. I know i do it. Who am i seeking my approval from? It should be only one.... I decided to get of facbook right after christmas. I couldnt be happier that i did that. I get it. I really do. Your words hit home to me. I sit here reading blogs, comparing my house to theirs or my clothes to theirs.... So on and so forth.... I am who God made me. I need to be the very best me that i can. Wow, sorry about that comment... A bit wordy.

    1. I cried as I read this comment. It is SO good to know I am not alone. It just seems like most of us are allowing our lives to pass us by while we are STRIVING. I have intentionally stopped Instagram and Facebook for the most part. My family loves watching the kids grow up since we live so far away. But, that is ALL they care about. Not my "once-in-a-blue-moon-but-I'll-post-it-so-everyone-thinks-I do-this-all-the-time" meal or activity. I'm missing out on just soaking in the moments instead of documenting them for all to see. God is doing a mighty work in me. Not to say anything we do (cooking, crafting, etc) is bad in and of itself. But, doing it for the right reasons and not so people can see how great we are should be the goal. In fact, lately, I'm trying to do what the Bible says, (duh? That's a novel idea!) and lead a quiet life without doing things for others to see. It's the nature of the beast with social media. I'm thankful I'm not alone in seeing this. Thanks for the wordy comment! It brought joy to me knowing I am not alone. You ARE a blessing. Hope to see you some time this summer!

  2. You raise some great thoughts to consider. I have lived a lot of my life in escapism. There are many things I must do each day that I don't want to do - balance checkbook, pay bills, clean house, plan ahead, be proactive on problems that may arise, etc. I will wiggle around doing those things and end up sweeping the porch, running to the store, going to eat with a friend, etc. So, I read the book, "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People," and it tells how to address the priorities in life, how to really listen to the people in our lives, and how to focus on only our "circle of influence." It's a neat book that goes along with the biblical principles that I aspire to. Maybe I'll be more effective if I can implement some of these concepts. Lord, help me. Also, Lord, thank you for giving me such an intelligent, conscientious daughter. --Mom

    1. Mom, you raised me to seek the Lord. That is the greatest gift you could have given me. I love you.

  3. To an extent, I agree. However, I do believe we must be careful how we view the world and our peers. Do we choose to see the good in people or jump to jealousy and fuel our own insecurity? I do not have kids of my own, but I love keeping up on instagram/Facebook with my friends and their children...I enjoy seeing and reading about a craft they did, a special outing, family trip, etc. and don't think of it at all as a "look at me arena". My friends are documenting their lives, and sharing it- I don't think they just do it because they seek value. I'm not perfect and neither are they. No one is. I understand this is a personal struggle for you. I wish you the best!

    1. I agree. These things are not bad in themselves. And for some people, their motives are 100% pure. That was not my case. And I know I'm not alone. Thanks for the comment and I'm glad this isn't something you struggle with! That is awesome!

  4. Bre,

    Women aren't the only ones who struggle with this. Men are constantly trying to prove their worth by demonstrating that they are the biggest, fastest, strongest, smartest, richest, have the most beautiful wife/house/car...

    You are right that we miss the point, that our worth comes from God. It is reflected in part by in the gifts, talents, skills, etc. that he gives us, but those things do not make use more worthy, just blessed. Ultimately everything comes from God and goes back to God. But it is very easy for me to get caught up in myself and to lose perspective. Until something happens that knocks me off mof my self-made pedestal, and I get humbled enough to regain focus on God. - Kevin Mallory

    1. Thanks Kevin. You are right. It's our human nature. Thankfully, in Christ, we find our worth, our meaning, and our purpose. God bless you!!

  5. I completely agree with you, girl! I don't necessarily think it is the intention of those who post things on social media to make others feel inferior, but those who read posts about fabulous craft projects, wonderful vacations, etc. don't always know all the details. There is a lot of assuming that goes on and I think it is our nature to assume the worst. When you read about someone's fabulous night out as you are in your PJ's watching Lifetime, you can't help but feel like, "gee, I feel like a dork". I think it takes a wonderfully open-minded person to say, "wow, good for them for a fun night out" and not compare lives. Love you girl! Jaimie

    1. HA! SOOOOO true! And what's funny, is I am sure people have looked at my pictures and thought I had the perfect life. The grass ALWAYS looks greener. And girl, PJ's and Lifetime? That IS perfection. Call me a dork any day. I miss you and SO wish we were closer! I pray I can be one of those people that is SO secure in who I am, that I can be happy for all those around me. It's been a process, but I see God is getting me there. Thanks for the comment!

  6. It takes a sweet forever for most of us women to get that comparison will ALWAYS steal our joy. When I start down that thorny thought path of "I should really...", I end up bloody and ripped to shreds. I find that hearing about the home-cooked meals that others cook and the way their children will happily gobble it all up, is very difficult for me to read/hear/see. Just as with social media, I must vigilantly guard what I allow my eyes to see and ears to hear. Turning to a devotional about self-worth often can snap me back to the eternal truth. But, sometimes? It's reading a beautiful post like this, my sweet friend, that reminds me that I'm not alone in this. And Whose I am. And He already loves me just exactly where I am on this journey. Loved this, girl! And you! <3