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Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Poop Hunt

I like buried treasure.

But, not this kind.

You see, this morning Peanut found a tiny round yellow bead in the yard.

He was fascinated by it. He held it as I changed his diaper. He pretended to eat it, grinning every time I told him not to put it in his mouth. I should have known that stinker was up to no good.

I was putting the laundry hamper at the top of the stairs and preparing to get ready for our play-date when I heard him in the pantry behind me...

"Wheh' it go?"

I turned around, responding to his precious voice. (I smile every time that kid utters a word.)

"Where's what, buddy?"

He pointed to his nose.

"Wheh' it go?"

"Did you drop something in the pantry?" I asked him.

 I still wasn't computing. 

"Wheh' it go?" he said one more time as he pointed to his nose.

At that moment the "Oh, crap" side of my brain received it's first drip of my morning coffee.

"THE BEAD!!!"

I fell to my knees, lifted his chin and peered up his nose.

Way up in the tippy-top of his left nostril lay the bead. Stuck. Like, really stuck.

I tried to feel it through the outside of his nose, hoping to push it downward and loosen it.

You'd have thought I was amputating Peanut's arm, the way he was screaming. He probably knew by the panic on my face and in my voice, that the situation was not a good one.

I tried to reason with him.

He's two. That didn't work well.

So, I did the only thing I knew to do.

I blew my nose at him. "Do that, buddy!!! Blow your nose like this!"

He looked at me, stopped crying and much to my horror, he did the exact opposite of my glorious demonstration. He sucked IN with all of his might. "No! No! Noooooooooo!!!"

I took another look.

Gone.

As in, the bead is no longer visible or attainable. As in, I could already picture the X-ray and the surgery planned to retrieve this dad-blasted yellow bead.

"So much for the play-date. I'll be headed to the ER," I thought.

But, my pediatrician told me it was possible that it went down the back of his throat and he swallowed it. Also, since it's plastic, it probably wouldn't show up on the X-ray, anyway.

So, all I can do for the next couple of days is wait.

And search for buried treasure.

Every time he poops. :)

But, knowing what could be in the cards if I don't find that bead, I'll be shaken' my own booty if I find that booty.


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7 comments:

  1. Thanks! So far, poop number 1 was a bust. I did want to gag about fifteen times. This motherhood stuff isn't for wimps!

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  2. Oh. My. Word of Mercy! That lil' man keeps you living on the edge (of the toilet till this is over, too!). I'll be praying this bead is miraculously evident to the naked eye - STAT! In the meantime, keep those rubber gloves attached at the hip.

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  3. Luckily I haven't had to deal with any incidents like this..yet! I know Jude will be the one to shove a peanut or something up his nose...it's only a matter of time! ;)

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  4. Your son is really lovely! I love them.

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