I did it.
I started looking at all of the blogs that remind me how far I am from perfection. Every project looked like a million bucks. Every craft was amazing. Every picture of the writer looks like it belongs in a magazine. I began to think I was a worthless piece o' blogging junk.
And down I went.
Into the dumps. Ain't no fun in the dumps, let me tell ya. And, as for my three guys, it ain't no fun for them when Momma's in the dumps either. All I can say in true Southern form is, "Bless Their Hearts".
And you wanna know the worst part about being in the dumps? All I do is beat myself up about being in the dumps, so the glorious cycle continues. "You ought'a be ashamed of yourself." "What kid of example are your setting for your children?" "I bet 'so-and-so' never gets ugly with her family the way you do." "You are such a bad person." "You'll never be what that other person is."
I couldn't shake it. I tried to think positive. Eh. I tried to pray away the jealousy and envy. (cuz, let's be real, that's all it really is...) But, nothing seemed to work. It was as if the negative fairy was standing over me throwing pessimistic pixy dust on my head.
Well, eventually, I gave in to the grumps and said some ill words to my husband. Yeah, I did. I ain't proud of it. I felt terrible, especially since Opie heard me. He had been sticking to his Daddy like glue ever since my downward spiral had begun. (everyone stays clear of a moody momma)
Now mind you, I've helped Opie overcome days where he has had a case of the grumps. I have told him that some days are just hard to work through. And that, often, a good night's rest is all we need to feel much better.
My precious husband told me later that Opie addressed my moodiness when they were alone, moments after he had experienced my episode of "vomitous of the mouthous".
He explained how moods affect us and how Mommy was just having "one of those days". And in perfect form, my attentive son applied the lesson that I have worked so diligently to teach him...
I started looking at all of the blogs that remind me how far I am from perfection. Every project looked like a million bucks. Every craft was amazing. Every picture of the writer looks like it belongs in a magazine. I began to think I was a worthless piece o' blogging junk.
And down I went.
Into the dumps. Ain't no fun in the dumps, let me tell ya. And, as for my three guys, it ain't no fun for them when Momma's in the dumps either. All I can say in true Southern form is, "Bless Their Hearts".
And you wanna know the worst part about being in the dumps? All I do is beat myself up about being in the dumps, so the glorious cycle continues. "You ought'a be ashamed of yourself." "What kid of example are your setting for your children?" "I bet 'so-and-so' never gets ugly with her family the way you do." "You are such a bad person." "You'll never be what that other person is."
I couldn't shake it. I tried to think positive. Eh. I tried to pray away the jealousy and envy. (cuz, let's be real, that's all it really is...) But, nothing seemed to work. It was as if the negative fairy was standing over me throwing pessimistic pixy dust on my head.
Well, eventually, I gave in to the grumps and said some ill words to my husband. Yeah, I did. I ain't proud of it. I felt terrible, especially since Opie heard me. He had been sticking to his Daddy like glue ever since my downward spiral had begun. (everyone stays clear of a moody momma)
Now mind you, I've helped Opie overcome days where he has had a case of the grumps. I have told him that some days are just hard to work through. And that, often, a good night's rest is all we need to feel much better.
My precious husband told me later that Opie addressed my moodiness when they were alone, moments after he had experienced my episode of "vomitous of the mouthous".
He explained how moods affect us and how Mommy was just having "one of those days". And in perfect form, my attentive son applied the lesson that I have worked so diligently to teach him...
"Well, maybe tonight, we need to send Momma to bed early."
OUCH.
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| Opie, My Red Head |
I feel ya. The last few days have been rough on us with all the potty training and general adjustment that comes with moving across the country, and my 5 yr old asked me if I was just tired, or if i was tired of HER. Yikes. I went to bed early that night, too.
ReplyDeleteWe all have our own Mommy grumps. :/ The best thing I always do, though, is remind myself I am nor perfect and apologize to my little ones when I am not quite the Mom I should be. I think they are more forgiving than we are! Love you girl. Praying you get more and more settled. Moving far away is by far the hardest thing ever!! Hang in there. Love you gal!
DeleteBrianne- Your blog is seriously so beautiful and your posts have great content!! As much as I love blogging I know exactly what you mean, though. You think you've conquered getting your blog to look just right and then you stumble upon "perfection" somewhere else. Don't let it get you down. Just enjoy your blog or it's not worth it. It's meant to be fun, so have fun! And to be completely honest I was a little jealous when I first saw how beautiful your blog was from the start!! It took me foreveeerrrrrr to get a nice signature and header and profile picture and facebook and twitter buttons and all that and yours looked GREAT from day one! So keep on bloggin' and have a blast with it. I love reading about your life and the nitty gritty honesty :)
ReplyDeleteYou are so precious. Thanks for the encouragement. You are right! I do it because I love it, and that's the only reason I need to do it! I love your sweet blog. You are a natural mother! Happy Bday to that sweet Silas. Wish I could snuggle and give him a couple of kisses!
DeleteBrianne - I second everything Meggan said! Into every blogger/writer's life a little pessimistic pixie dust (love that!) definitely DOES fall. Hope you did indeed get a little extra sleep last night and that you gained fresh new perspective this morning. Because, you already are amazing!!!
ReplyDeleteYou are an inspiration to me. Seriously, I love your blog. It means a lot knowing I am not the only one who suffers from blog envy. It sounds so stupid when you say it out loud. BAHAHAHAHA! Indeed. ;)
Deleteor you can just join me on the dark side of no blogging/no worries about what/who is blogging or what they are blogging about!!! I have a hard enough time finding the time to get the dishwasher emptied & the clothes clean especially this month with an injured horse ! And I agree with my sister Meggan! Get those panties out of a wad and get them over here to swim tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteI love doing it, but need to focus on the fun instead of what others are doing. I have always struggled with that stinky stuff. Can't wait to see you guys!
DeleteWhat are you talking about?? Your blog is great! :)
ReplyDeleteWe allllll have days when we need to go to bed early ;)
Holly, you need to live closer. We could totally hang! I just know it. :) Thanks so much. I love your blog, too. I feel bad, like people thought I was searching for some love, but I just needed a swift kick in the pants on my PMS day... hahahaha! Hope your summer is going GREAT!!!
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