Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Identity Crisis

I'm having a serious case of identity crisis.

As I go on this journey to find my passions, I love looking at other things and people that inspire me.

But, you know what? When you start looking at other people, the feelings of inferiority are not far behind.

Do you ever get the feeling that you are the only one who doesn't have it together? Like surely everyone else is somehow managing parenting, marriage, work, and running a household better than you? And they also seem to find the time to plant a garden, can their goods, cook amazing meals, homeschool, and hand-make amazing things?

What is wrong with me? I sincerely want to be all that God has made me to be and those women sure do seem to be all I want to be. So, why is it so hard for me to do everything I feel everyone else is doing?

I try to stay on a schedule. I do occasional crafts with my kids. I even try my hand at fancy cooking. (But, I always come back to my trusty recipes.) This self-discovery is proving to be harder than I thought and I find myself continually questioning my life and my abilities. At times, I want to just give up and go back to being stuck.

But, this morning as I prayed, I could feel God asking me gently, "Brianne, why are you trying to be them? I made you different. Model yourself after me. And why are you putting your faith in your abilities? I am your strength. And don't put your identity in what you do or how successful you are. Your identity is in me."

This journey is a challenging one. I want to do so many things. I want to be so much. But, I can not keep allowing myself to question who I am. I am in Christ.

When I put myself next to Him, I don't feel inferior. I feel loved.

When I put myself next to Him, I don't feel lost. I feel at peace.

When I check out His Word, I don't feel helpless. I feel empowered.

Yes, God wants us to try new things and discover talents and gifts, but more than anything, He wants us to rest in the calm assurance that He is all we need.

I pray I can continue to become more confident of who I am...in Him.




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16 comments:

  1. You are NOT the only one who feels this way Brianne. I think you would be surprised at the number of women who feel JUST like this. Thank you for posting this. Now, I have to run, as my kids are beating on the door to the bathroom as I sit typing this :)

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    1. HA! I know the feeling! My youngest literally bangs on the door and scream cries the entire time I'm in the shower. Calgon can't take that away...

      Thanks for sharing. It's so nice to know we are not alone!

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  2. You are definitely not the only one!

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  3. You are not the only one, girl!! I was just talking to Taylor about this the other day. We just each choose different things that are important to us. Keeping a clean house and doing DIY projects all the time is not who I am--although at times I wish it were and wonder how in the world they find time to do it all. But in my spare time I choose to run or exercise OR maybe just lay on the couch because I am worn slap out. We can't compare ourselves to others because we will never be happy. Thank you for sharing this!!

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    1. You are someone I admire for you determination and discipline. So poo-poo that we don't can our own veggies. That's what grocery stores are for... Hey, wait a minute...I don't even LIKE canned goods. So, I'm throwing that guilt right out the window! Love you girl! Thanks for the comment. I love it!

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  4. Hey girl! You are definitely not the only one who feels this way. I have struggled so much with this over the years that I am trying to start now teaching my kiddos that they are pefect just the way God made them. He made us all unique and it is okay to be "different" from everyone else.
    Be confident in who you are in Him! You are so talented in your writing. Thanks for uplifting other women with it.

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    1. You are so right! Our kids need to grow up being okay with their uniqueness (is that a word?) :) Miss you and your precious family. Thanks for the comment! I love it when people share!

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  5. Girl, you KNOW I don't have it all together! I constantly compare myself to others too, and wonder why I can't keep my house cleaner, be more patient with my kids, cook better meals, etc. This was a great reminder to find my worth in Him, instead of what I do or don't do. Thank you for sharing!! Love ya!

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    1. Marisa, you are so sweet. Thanks so much! I pray we can just laugh at the ways we are not perfect because that's much more entertaining than being perfect! Love you lady...

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  6. Keep listing to HIM!!
    Love ya!

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  7. You are not alone! Love your blog and truthfulness. You should check out my pastors latest sermon series "room 101" about facing your fears. Www.elevationchurch.org/sermons/room101/part1. I think you would enjoy it! Xoxo

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    1. Thanks Meggan. I replied to this comment via email, but not sure if you got it. I will have to check those out!

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  8. Not alone. You are so NOT alone. Your blog followers are falling just a little in love with your open and honest thoughts. Keep em' comin'! Big Hugs!

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    1. Thanks so much. It's time to chat, but I lost your cell number. I will see if I can find it in my email somewhere...

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