Saturday, July 7, 2012

My Greatest Struggle. GULP.

I can't believe I am doing this...or posting this picture...EESH. 

I envy women who "forget to eat" or can stop at just one cupcake. I don't think I have ever forgotten to eat and if you put a plate of cupcakes in front of me and left the room, they'd be disintegrated by the time you came back.

I have struggled with eating since I was fifteen years old. Before that, I was athletic and ate whatever I wanted. But, when I quit cheerleading and continued to eat junk food, the weight came on and my self-esteem plummeted. I pulled away from friends because of my struggle. It's ridiculous when I think about it, but somehow food became my "bestie". Always there and available...

I have been able to workout and keep weight at bay through the years, but this hip thing has made my struggle evident. There's only so much you can do to hide a muffin-top, a buddha-belly, and a big ol' booty and I'd rather not have a wardrobe full of black.

So, let me just call a spade a spade. I struggle with obsessive eating. I can laugh about it, grab another cupcake, and hide under the weight, but it doesn't make it better. 

Now that I am older and have popped out a few kids, I understand that I am not going to look like Gisele, no matter how hard I try. I have to be much more realistic with myself. I know weight does not define who I am, but when you are not "living" because you are battling within, there must be a change.

It's time to be Brianne again. To live life to the fullest. I owe it to myself and I owe it to my children.
With God's help, I can overcome anything. I don't want to do this to just be skinny (although I ain't gonna lie...that would be fabulous), or enjoy shopping again (wouldn't make me mad either), but to feel good again and gain self control.

I hesitated on posting this. I worried you might be disgusted and think less of me. But, then I remembered my promise in writing this blog. I promised to keep it real. To tell the whole truth. The ugly truth. And having all of you fabulous people out there cheering me on and holding me accountable couldn't hurt!

So, I am beginning a challenge: to take better care of myself. To gain back self-control and start living again. I want to be the best 'me' I can be. That's what I want for you, too. It's a choice. And I am choosing to remove food from my "Bestie" list....

Join me.

And let the Challenge begin.


PS. Leave me comments! I LOVE hearing from you! If you have something a little more private to say, just click the "contact me" button above.

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19 comments:

  1. Bri, you should look up Candace Cameron's book called Reshaping It All--- she is the girl who played DJ Tanner on full house. Her family has become christians and she writes about her struggle with weight from a christian perspective--- literally not letting food be an idol and being healthy,etc. She makes A LOT of good points and its one of my favorites. A plus is that it is also a good devotion too. Check it out!! and p.s. I think you look smokin' hot all the time :)

    xo,
    ashley

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    1. Thanks girl. You are so sweet. I will definitely have to check that out!

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  2. Food was my comfort too which is why I gained 40 lbs since 2006. Too bad it took being almost bedridden to get me to change my ways of eating, but I just lost 13 lbs, and I'm def not starving myself as you can see from the spreads of food here all the time at my house!! It's just eating the foods that FUEL you not FILL you. I was just thinking also yesterday how cool would it be to just get a group of moms together to work out the fun way - playing my dance dance revolution & Just Dance!!!

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    1. You look great! Thanks for the support and once I get the go ahead to exercise, we have to do a dance party! :)

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  3. We all struggle with the same thing. Foods that are bad for us are too available and cheap. It takes a lot of self discipline to make ourselves prepare the correct kinds of food and to eat only that. God help us all. --Mom

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  4. I'm with ya' sistah! And, I believe your bravery in posting your true feelings about the power food has in your life will be an encouragement to lots of ladies. I'm looking forward to jumping on board with you. Now, go get em'!

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    1. Thanks! I am glad to see you are back home and well. Can't wait to read about your daily happenings...I love them!! Hope you are well rested!

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  5. This is a tough one. Sometimes, when I find myself craving something that I don't need, I say "Lord, you're enough." That's it. Someone once told me this and I thought it sounded funny, but it usually works!

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    1. Such great advice. Sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking food isn't a spiritual battle, but it is. I am so gonna try that! Thanks!

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  6. I've blogged so much about the same struggles! Food is my happy place, and my sad place, and my bored place, and my...you get it. Anyway, Reshaping It All has really helped me. i've blogged about it a lot. You have to read it!

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    1. I didn't know you had a BLOG???? Where is it? Let's do this!!

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  7. I struggle daily with this... because this girl just likes food. Period. I like to call it a hobby. I get the girls down for nap and get so "snacky" - I've tried to make better choices. We started using the free app for iPhones called "Lose It" and absolutely love it. It helps track food/calories, exercise, goals, etc. It has really helped. Go get em!

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    1. I think we Southern girls all like food. It's our culture! I will try that ap. Thanks girl!!!!

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  8. I'm with you on this. This is one of my struggles! My first HUGE step was cutting out cokes and sweet tea. It has been over a month!!! :) I feel better now that I have cut those out. Now on to bigger things! You've got this!!! Love ya!!!

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    1. Good job! One thing at a time, right? It's so hard, but we can do it together!! I'm here for you, too, girl!!

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  9. Well said Bri! Ya know what's funny is that it never even occured to someone like me that someone like you would sturggle with weight. You, along with most of my friends, go right in the skinny file. It just goes to show that no one is completely HAPPY with their body. I am on my path to my most fit self also. Like most addictions, admitting you have a problem is the first step. I've lost about 30 lbs and have kept it off for almost a year but I have about 50 more lbs left in my fat suit. And I plan to do it! As you said, we owe it to ourselves to be our best self and the world will benefit from us doing so. I am proud of you and support you! Also, I am super jealous that you can order your groceries and get them via the drive-thru. This will probably help you be strong when you are not intoxicated by the overwhelmingly scrumptious smell of the bread isle. Where I live, I can hardly find veggie burgers and whole wheat pasta. Eating clean proves quite difficult for someone who hasn't eaten meat in 13 years...Your blog is prec! So are you! Every ounce! I forgot how much I miss y'all until I starting getting a glimpse back into your funny life! GONADS! Mom STILL tells that story! Love you!

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    1. Anna!!! I am so glad you shared! I miss you girl. I can still hear your laugh.... I love it! Wish you could come visit up NAWTH! Hope you continue to follow my craziness. My diabolical scheme with this blog is total world domination. :) Send your Mama my way, too! Love you gal!

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