Monday, July 9, 2012

Male Anatomy 101

My brother and his gorgeous wife, Jennifer.

I was a newlywed working as an assistant manager at a bookstore in Newnan, Georgia. My husband and I had only been married a few months and life was extremely busy.

In the back office one day, I received a fax from my Mother that read,

                                                       Bri,                                                                                      
Here's the information you need....

By the way, your brother's surgery went well.

Love, Mom

Brother's surgery?!! Um. Hello! No one had even bothered to tell me about that one. He, too, had just gotten married and apparently was as busy as we were... seeing as he didn't even let his own sister know he was going under the knife!

I got home from work late that night, and immediately called my brother the moment I climbed in bed. My precious new sister-in-law answered the call. They were youth ministers at a church in North Carolina. Here's how the conversation went down:

Me: "Hi, Jenn. I got a fax from Mom today saying Jeremy had surgery. What's going on?"

Jenn: "Oh, sorry we didn't let you know. We've been so busy. He had his tonsils taken out this morning."

Me: "Oh good; it's nothing serious. That makes me feel better. Well, is he doing okay?"

Jenn: "Oh yeah. He can't talk, but he's feeling better. His tonsils were terrible! The doctor said he had never seen anyone's gonads so swollen."

Suddenly, her voice turned away from the phone and in a frustrated tone, she spoke to my brother...

Jenn: "What Jeremy?!! What did I say? What?"

Now, I'm no anatomy expert, but I knew something about her statement did not sound right. While my brother was desperately trying to communicate to her without using his voice, I covered the phone's receiver with my hand and asked my husband, "Honey, what are gonads?"

Yep. She was waaaaay off.

Me: "JENN! Gonads are guy's balls!"

Jenn: "WHAT?!  Oh no!! I have called every elder and some members of the church telling them that the doctors could not believe how bad Jeremy's tonsils were because his gonads were so swollen!"

My brother was embarrassed. My sister-in-law was humiliated.

But, as for Me and my Husband? Yeah, we laughed so hard we couldn't talk...for a while.

Oh, yeah. And for the record, she meant to say adenoids.

Aren't they the cutest family?

Photobucket

21 comments:

  1. LOL oh my it's right out of my family's playbook!! LOL LOL LOL I could see my mom or my sister saying something like that!

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    1. Yep. What's worse is her own mother didn't even catch it! And she had birthed three boys!!! :)

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  2. I remember that story. HILARIOUS!!!! Oh thanks for the reminder.

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    1. I had people telling me to post it. Asked permission first, though. Definitely one of the best...

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    1. Isn't that the best? HA!! Did you get my comments on your blog? Mitt Romney?? SO JEALOUS!!!

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  4. I think that story could make me laugh any day of the week-loved it then, love it now!

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  5. oh and this is Lisa, not Thomas

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    1. Glad you clarified. I was like, "Who the heck is Thomas and when did I tell him that story?" BAHAHAHA!

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  6. HILARIOUS! I hope you don't mind me sharing your blog with my small town mom friends :)

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    1. Share away!!! Glad you found me! Thanks so much for stopping by!!! I know your time is precious!

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  7. That right there? That's the stuff blog post dreams are made of. What a cutie patootie family they are! What a way to get an education in anatomy! Poor thing...

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    1. Isn't that incredible? It's legendary in my family....

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  8. Bri, that is hilarious! It actually sounds like something I would do, LOL!

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    1. Girl, me too!!!! I mess up my words constantly!

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  9. I've heard it more than once, I've told it several times, and I STILL LAUGHED OUT LOUD reading it again. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. Isn't that fabulous! It's one of my faves...

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  11. Oh, gah! I. CAN'T. BREATHE! I am laughing so hard. That has got to be one of the funniest stories I have ever heard. Nobody can make this stuff up! Thanks for that, Brianne! I am loving your blog.

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    1. I am soooo glad you are enjoying it! I am loving writing. It's therapeutic and I feel like I have an outlet! Love you lady. Hope you are enjoying your summer with your boys!

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